What Happens in Vegas Still Requires Paperwork
by Ninjababe
Summary: It's New Years Eve! And, Tony is being Tony. But, that makes a great party... This is part of my 'Darcy Lewis, Vampire Slayer (Semi-Retired)'. The order of the series is in my bio.


Thanks, yet again, to Ithildin for the title help.

This is set immediately after 'Emails from the Inside' part 3, where Darcy sent out an email about rules for Girls Night Out, and Fury sent an email demanding to see her in his office immediately. As for series spacing, this does take place before Darcy's advancement to the head of the science department, and after Hill locked her up in a closet. 

* * *

.

Her hand hovering over the mouse, Darcy cocked her head as she read her newest email. "Huh." Shutting down her computer, she turned to where Jane was lecturing to a group of scientists huddled around her. "Hey, Jane!" Darcy called out.

Pausing, Jane turned with raised eyebrows to her personal assistant.

Ignoring the glares from Jane's minions, Darcy continued, "The principal wants to see me in his office. I'll be back later."

Nodding, Jane turned back to her lecture with a wave.

Darcy checked her armament before leaving her desk. After verifying her taser was in her front jeans pocket, and her stake was at the small of her back, she started the trek to Fury's office, twenty stories above the labs.

Stopping at Fury's anteroom, she leaned against the desk there and turned to the field agent currently working as the Director's assistant while on medical leave. "Bossman wants to see me. Can I go in?"

Nodding, the agent waved towards the closed door. "He's waiting for you."

Slowly opening the door, Darcy peered through the crack.

"What the hell are you doing?" Fury asked with a growl.

"Making sure there isn't armed gunmen, or killer robots, or anything like that." Seeing no immediate threats, she finished opening the door and entered the office. "You wanted to see me, sir?" she asked as she shut the door and sat down.

"I need some explanations about your most recent email." Fury replied as he stared at Darcy, standing behind his desk with his hands behind his back.

Darcy thought for a moment, then asked. "The one about the rules for Girls Night Out?"

"Yes."

"What about it?" she asked, her head cocked slightly in thought.

Fury gave a small sigh. "Why was Agent Barton included in the email?"

"Oh!" Darcy brightened. "He and Agent Romanov have a running bet. If she wins, he has to go to Girls Night Out. He's actually the reason we put in the dressing as a woman rule."

"If she loses?"

Darcy shrugged. "I don't know. Clint had that evil smirk of his when it was mentioned. I don't want to know what he was thinking."

"And, the bit about Loki joining in?" Fury asked, starting to scowl.

Shrugging again, Darcy replied, "Look, I know he went all 'evil god' on New York. I get that. But, you try telling a Goddess, even a friend, that her baby boy is bat shit insane and we don't want him. I figure this way, I can truthfully tell her that we took a vote and decided not to include said fruit loops boy?" Pausing, she looked slightly confused. "Or, would it be fruit loops girl, since Loki would be female?"

Pinching his nose, Fury sighed. "Fine. I get that. Just… Remember, I don't want him on this planet. Now, to the last reason I called you up here. Stark's New Year's Eve party."

"What about it?" Darcy looked puzzled. "I'm going to be in my apartment, eating junk food and watching the ball drop on TV."

"No, you're not." Fury smirked. "You are going to the event, as Jane's unofficial bodyguard. Since it's on public property, and not a SHIELD event, we can't do official crowd control. Thor is invited, and he'll be taking Jane. And, because of that leaked report last month, Jane's a target for kidnappers."

"I don't have anything to wear!" Darcy groaned.

Grinning widely, Fury waved towards the door. "I suggest you go find something. Now, get out."

Grumbling to herself, Darcy stomped out of the office to stop and stare at Natasha, who was calmly reading a decade old magazine in Fury's waiting area.

As she stood up and smoothed down her pencil skirt, Natasha turned to Darcy and gave a small smile. "Ready for the fitting?"

"Fitting?" Darcy asked, confused.

"For Stark's event. You can't go in anything less than designer. Luckily, I like you. You'll be going to a friend of mine. She designs for hidden weapons." 

* * *

.

"He bought out the Bellagio?" Jane asked in awe from where she, Darcy, and Pepper were staring down on a private balcony at the crowd in the casino below.

Pepper sighed as she smoothed the front of her ivory gown, which was covered with polished sapphire chips. "Yes, he's rented the whole casino and hotel for this event."

"Cool," Darcy said, trying to sound cool and collected, hoping no one noticed the slight squeak at the end of the word.

"And, the poker chips?" Jane asked, pointing at the newest person to gain admittance to the casino. Tony had set up surveillance outside the main entrance, the only door admitting people from the outside. Random people were chosen to come in every hour to join the party.

"Worth a thousand dollars," Pepper said before taking a sip of her martini. "All money won is the property of the winner."

"Any other surprises?" Jane asked, gulping her pale pink cocktail.

"He's hired the band First Responder to play after midnight," Pepper said with a shrug.

Darcy squealed. "How did he get them? They're awesome!"

"They are?" Tony asked as he showed up on the balcony. "Huh. I just wanted the hardest to book band. It took a bit of wrangling, a few autographs, but I got them."

Pepper rolled her eyes as she grabbed another martini. "Yes, Tony. It took all of your negotiating skills to procure the services of a band. Congratulations."

"Okay," Bruce stated as he joined the group on the balcony. "I know you ladies are armed," he said as he pointed to Darcy and Natasha. "But, how?"

Looking down at her calf length black dress, Natasha shrugged. "It's not hard."

Darcy, dressed in a red gown the same color as her lipstick with designs in black embroidery on her bodice giggled. "I've got eight different items on me that could be used as weapons."

Tony looked intrigued. "And you, Natasha?"

Shrugging again, Natasha replied, "I stopped counting after ten."

"And, you can actually fight in those heels?" Pepper asked, nodding towards Darcy's four inch heels.

"Of course," Darcy smirked. "It was a required course in my high school."

Natasha looked pensive. "I need to see if they'll give continuing education lessons."

"I'm already working on hiring teachers part time for that and other courses," Coulson said as he wandered by the group, heading toward the casino level below.

"Perhaps we should join the crowds?" Pepper states as she pulled Tony off the balcony.

After a few hours of fighting off amorous men after herself or Jane, Darcy pulled her friend into a woman's bathroom and sank into the fluffy armchair inside the entrance.

"Tired?" Jane asked as she too sat down and kicked off her heels and picked at her empire waisted, wine colored gown.

"Just a bit," Darcy replied.

A few moments later, screams could be heard nearby.

"Damn it," Darcy grumbled as she quickly slipped her pumps back on and ran out of the restroom and through the nearby 'employees only' door and down the hallway. It didn't take long to find the group of demons harassing the staff. "Really? You really think you'll get away with anything at a party the Avengers are at?"

"You ain't an Avenger," a vampire growled.

Rolling her eyes, Darcy pulled out her stake from its hiding place and staked the vampire in reply.

A few moments into the fight, Jane, Natasha and Thor showed up. Jane eeped at the sight of the demons and pulled off the cuff bracelet she always wore, which turned into a six inch piece of rigid metal. Quickly flicking the metal, it broke in half and became a foot long. Holding the metal length in front of her, she calmly backed up the way she had came while the other three in the room took care of the demons.

"Dear Jane, is that a weapon?" Thor asked after the demons were defeated. All but one turned to goo as they watched.

"It's standard wear for any non-combatant of the Council," Jane replied as she watched Natasha and Darcy roll the last demon corpse into a sheet. "It's for emergencies. It's a cuff bracelet, that when opened is purified silver on one side, and different major wood and metal groups on the other."

"Plus, the whole thing is blessed by three different religions," Darcy piped up as the rolled up corpse was dropped into a laundry basket. "All together, it'll really hurt eighty percent of demons out there when touched by it."

"And, the other twenty percent?" Natasha asked.

"You kick them in the knee and or crotch," Jane said with a shrug. "Then, while it's writhing in pain, run like the wind."

Darcy nodded with a grin before turning to the almost comatose staff member huddled in the corner. "Which way to the incinerator?"

The woman turned to Darcy and stared like she was demented. "What?"

Darcy sighed. "The incinerator? Do you really want to explain why the ugly mask on this guy won't come off?"

"Darcy!" Jane exclaimed. "She's obviously in shock."

Rolling her eyes, Darcy replied. "When we leave, and all the evidence is gone, she's going to convince herself that this was a robbery gone bad. The robbers decided to run off instead of getting captured. The case will never be solved."

"How do you know this?" Thor asked, looking confused.

"It's what normal people do," Darcy said with a shrug. "Unless your life is personally touched by the supernatural, you shrug it off, make up a cover story, and start believing it."

Staring at Darcy's skirt, Jane blurted out, "Your dress didn't have a side slit before."

"Darn," Darcy pouted. "I hoped the seam wouldn't need to be put back in."

Jane looked confused.

Darcy grinned. "It's the designer Natasha took me to. The side seam is loosely sewn. If I get into a fight, it'll tear, forming a side slit on the skirt. So, I don't have to wear the same style of dress every time I go out. I liked being able to wear a longer skirt."

"You take care of this, and I'll go tell Coulson what happened so we can start the investigation," Natasha stated as she started toward the public areas of the casino.

"Do we have to?" Darcy whined.

Natasha paused and raised an eyebrow. "You want to inform Coulson?"

"No! Can we just chalk this up to a burglary gone bad and forget about it?" Darcy continued to whine.

Natasha shook her head before continuing down the hall. "It may have farther reaching repercussions, so we have to investigate."

"I know," Darcy replied with a sigh. "But… Paperwork! Ugh!" 

* * *

.

Luckily, the getaway driver of the group was quickly located and apprehended near the valet entrance to the casino. It was proven to be a simple 'Let's rob Tony Stark!' plot.

"It's almost midnight," Darcy pouted.

"And?" Coulson asked, as the surprisingly human member of the thwarted plan was taken away by a small contingent of SHIELD agents.

Darcy put her hands on her hips and gave a small growl. "I could've been at home, having watched the ball drop. Or, in there, on the dance floor, watching a recording of the ball drop. But, no, I'm going to be filling out paperwork."

Waving towards the building behind them, Coulson gave a small smirk. "I'm feeling magnanimous. Go, have fun. Be ready to work on the paperwork on the plane home tomorrow."

"Woot!" Darcy jumped up with her fist in the air, then gave Coulson a quick hug. "Thanks bossman!" She then ran off to rejoin the party.

* * *

.

Literally, everything of this story except maybe the last page of this was typed up over two years ago. It just wouldn't gel. But, I finally did it :D

And, suddenly, I want to put Clint as Fury's assistant... The hijinks!


End file.
